We all have someone in our lives who would rather be at home painting, reading a book, or some other isolated activity than to be out in the world socializing. They might even be your close friend, since introverts prefer to have a couple of close friends rather than to hang out in large groups of people. Introverts need time to be alone with their thoughts and process the events of the day. Situations involving large groups of people over long periods of time can be completely overwhelming if there aren’t breaks to be alone to think about what has been happening.
If you are an introvert, taking time to think and process when you need to is a necessary part of maintaining good mental health, although there is more to it than that. Introverts are keenly aware of how others view them and how others feel. They are constantly trying to think of the right thing to say, laughing at people’s jokes to make those people feel better, and wondering what good thing they can do for you next. That can be exhausting! Additionally, they have a fear of being misunderstood by those around them because they have been misunderstood many times in the past. Because they don’t open up to everyone they meet, people tend to fill in the blanks and can form negative views of them, accusing them of having ill intentions, being rude, fake, or lacking intellect, causing introverts to feel the need to prove themselves to everyone they meet. Since they are so often misunderstood, these wonderful people are susceptible to social anxiety disorders and can begin to worry at an unhealthy level about how others view them.
I have seen this scenario many times in believers who have ended up isolating themselves due to this fear becoming so great. It is one of the saddest things that can happen to a Christian because we are called for so much more than to barricade ourselves in our home, living in fear of the outside world. Fear is not from God (2 Timothy 1:7). Fear is from the Devil. When we live in fear, it is because we have allowed the negative voices in our head to consume us, to imprison us, even (2 Timothy 2:26). We believe the lies those voices tell, but the Bible tells us that God is love (1 John 4:8) and that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). It is not God’s will for us to live in fear. Rather, he desires to help us escape the snare we are in (Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 91:3). God promises in His word that He has amazing plans for us, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares Yahweh, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you.’” (Jeremiah 29:11). God is not unconcerned about our lives. In fact, He cares so intimately about us that he “delights in every detail of our lives” and holds us up, not allowing us to fall (Psalm 37:23-24). That is why we can be confident that as we pull closer to God, as we seek Him through His word and through prayer, yearning to do His will, He will lift that burden, that fear, off of our shoulders (Philippians 4:6-7). If we are to conquer the lies of the Devil, then we must lean on the promises of God, and begin to see ourselves the way he sees us: as a beautiful and worthy creation (Psalm 139:14). We do not need to build confidence in ourselves and our abilities, but rather, we need to build confidence in God and focus on who He says we are and the mighty works He is able to do through us (John 14:12, Matthew 19:26, Philippians 4:13). We must learn to seek His approval first and foremost, getting our self-worth from Him and not from those around us (Matthew 6:33). What everyone else thinks tends to fade away when we start to realize God’s unfailing love for us, and how much he sacrificed for us, even while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:16, John 3:16).
If you are struggling with social anxiety, I urge you to read your Bible and spend time in prayer each day, telling Yahweh how you are feeling and asking him to give you strength and courage to overcome those feelings, and then act on those prayers. Set a new goal of some small thing you can do to step out of your comfort zone a little more each day. The first day, you might just say hi to someone you meet in your neighborhood. The second day, you might give a compliment to someone you meet at your children’s school or at the store while you are running errands. Take the first step off the ledge, and God will not let you fall. He will catch you, strengthen you, and make you a new creation that cannot wait to get out and spread the Good News (2 Corinthians 5:17)!
